When you pull back the curtain on the life of a content creator, you might just find a story that tugs at your heartstrings and resonates with your own experiences. Ashley Tella, an inspiring mother and dynamic content creator, joins us to share her journey through the multifaceted world of social media. With a refreshing preference for authenticity over the polished facade of 'influencer' culture, Ashley discusses the evolution of her family life with her husband Nicky and their daughters, Capri and Kalea, offering listeners a raw, unfiltered look at the realities of parenthood and the power of vulnerability.
Navigating the turbulent waters of motherhood can feel isolating, but Ashley turns the tide by fostering a nurturing online community where realness reigns supreme. In this heartfelt exchange, we unpack the challenges of postpartum depression and body image, creating a haven for mothers to find comfort in shared stories and collective wisdom. By pulling back the veil on her own struggles, Ashley extends a lifeline to those grappling with similar issues, proving that when mothers unite in their vulnerability, a formidable support network emerges.
Virality and online visibility may be a double-edged sword, but Ashley's resolve is a testament to the strength that can be forged in the flames of online scrutiny. We take a stroll down memory lane, exploring her and Nicky's love story and the battles they've faced, from lupus to fertility issues, culminating in the miraculous joy of welcoming their children. This episode is a celebration of love, health, and the authenticity of motherhood, inviting you to join a conversation that's as real as it gets in the world of social media. #tellyourstory #familymatters #spotify #ashleytella #motherhood#nickycasares #socialinfluence #livingwithlupus #thebenmaynardprogram
Thanks for listening! Follow me on Instagram: benmaynardprogram
and subscribe to my YouTube channel: THE BEN MAYNARD PROGRAM
I also welcome your comments. email: pl8blocker@aol.com
When you pull back the curtain on the life of a content creator, you might just find a story that tugs at your heartstrings and resonates with your own experiences. Ashley Tella, an inspiring mother and dynamic content creator, joins us to share her journey through the multifaceted world of social media. With a refreshing preference for authenticity over the polished facade of 'influencer' culture, Ashley discusses the evolution of her family life with her husband Nicky and their daughters, Capri and Kalea, offering listeners a raw, unfiltered look at the realities of parenthood and the power of vulnerability.
Navigating the turbulent waters of motherhood can feel isolating, but Ashley turns the tide by fostering a nurturing online community where realness reigns supreme. In this heartfelt exchange, we unpack the challenges of postpartum depression and body image, creating a haven for mothers to find comfort in shared stories and collective wisdom. By pulling back the veil on her own struggles, Ashley extends a lifeline to those grappling with similar issues, proving that when mothers unite in their vulnerability, a formidable support network emerges.
Virality and online visibility may be a double-edged sword, but Ashley's resolve is a testament to the strength that can be forged in the flames of online scrutiny. We take a stroll down memory lane, exploring her and Nicky's love story and the battles they've faced, from lupus to fertility issues, culminating in the miraculous joy of welcoming their children. This episode is a celebration of love, health, and the authenticity of motherhood, inviting you to join a conversation that's as real as it gets in the world of social media. #tellyourstory #familymatters #spotify #ashleytella #motherhood#nickycasares #socialinfluence #livingwithlupus #thebenmaynardprogram
Thanks for listening! Follow me on Instagram: benmaynardprogram
and subscribe to my YouTube channel: THE BEN MAYNARD PROGRAM
I also welcome your comments. email: pl8blocker@aol.com
Hey everyone, welcome into the Ben Maynard program. Thanks for being here. Just a reminder before we get started. This program is available on multiple podcast outlets Apple Podcasts, amazon Music and Spotify. There are multiple other options to choose from. If you simply search the Ben Maynard program, you'll see those options.
Speaker 1:As you know, I like to steer everyone towards BuzzFraut, because that's where my website is, and, of course, if you can't resist this right here I know I can't and you're watching on YouTube then I ask if you please subscribe to the channel, give me a thumbs up and leave a comment. I love comments. You know I love comments and, as always, if you leave one, I'm going to read it on the air. The next program, last but not least, follow me on Instagram, simply Ben Maynard program. So plenty of ways to take in this show for your dancing and listening pleasure. And with that I'll quickly recap the last episode. That was my buddy Spaz. We were in, we did our Journey Top 20 songs and it was a ton of fun. We had some good response on it. We're still getting good response. We've had some really good comments on it and Spaz is always fun to have on the show. But I don't want to take up too much of my guest time because you can see I have a guest today and so we'll get into. We'll get into some more Journey, top 20 and Spaz later on, but right now I want to introduce everyone in my audience to Ashley Tella.
Speaker 1:Hello, ashley, hi, he is. Let's see. Oh, hey, how's that? Does that look good on the bottom of the screen for you? Yeah, she is. She's a social well, she's a mom, she's a wife, she's a mom and she's, I guess, what we call yes, because I'm old social media influencer. So I'm having Ashley on the program to kind of talk about that and kind of kind of bring us old folks up to speed as far as what is a social media influencer. So, ashley, thank you so much for being on the program. I greatly appreciate it and educate me.
Speaker 2:Cool. Thank you for having me Super excited. It's so funny because everyone always like I, new Age calls it a social media influencer, and not that I hate that word, but it's just. I feel like me as a human, I'm just trying to like show my audience, like who I am and if they want to follow along, they could. So, like I tend to go as like a content creator because I don't want to like ever make it seem like what I'm doing is so influential and stuff Like. I just truly want to like bring my audience or whoever wants to follow along on this crazy journey of life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have a crazy story of where I'm at today and yeah, so what I do is I create content online and I just started doing it for fun, I want to say maybe like six, seven years ago, on YouTube. I have a husband His name is Nikki and we have two girls, capri and Kalea. They are three years old and six months old and they're literally our whole world. And, yeah, we started posting when I was. We were probably like early on in our relationship. We've been together for 12 years and I've always loved watching families on YouTube. I don't know if it's weird or what, but it was just something that I genuinely love to do and I was like you know what? I'm just going to start filming my life, and I started to share my story with how we met. I have a lot of like medical problems and stuff like that, so I started sharing that journey online and I slowly started getting people that would tune in and just want to see what I'm doing in my day to day life.
Speaker 2:And it just kind of slowly started to grow from there and I always wanted to stay like authentic and true to myself. And yeah, I just started posting almost every day and I was able to start working with brands and just kind of show what it's like to be in a relationship at such a young age. You know, my husband and I we started dating when we were 19. And so we've had so many ups and downs and we were very, I guess, like very honest and open into like the struggles that come with that.
Speaker 2:And you know, when I first started, I guess, being on social media like a promise that I made to myself is, I always wanted to stay true to like who I was and show the good parts of my life, the bad parts of my life and kind of every in between, and I think that's why I guess the people that follow me, I feel like they're literally my second family, because I've shared so many intimate, hard, raw moments with them and kind of like let them into my life more than I would say that and I would say the average person would do. But I don't know. I just I've always wanted to be as open as possible and just show that life is always going to be so glamorous and so put together. You know, I feel like in today's society you follow so many people and their life literally looks perfect. That's something that I struggled with, you know, when I have people that I follow and you know there'd be so many times like wow, like their life looks so amazing, like why aren't I there yet in life? Why don't I have this, you know? And it's just like.
Speaker 2:I feel like we live in a time where everyone is always comparing themselves like two other people that they follow on social media. So a promise I made to myself is like I want to show the bad parts of my life. I want to show the parts that a lot of people are afraid to show, because I want to be able to be relatable and I never want anyone who watches myself to feel bad about themselves or to feel like that the life that we have is not attainable and to think that this is just something that we didn't work for. And yeah, I don't know. I feel like everyone has you know their story, like everyone has problems that they go through in their life, and I think it's beautiful to share not just the good parts of your life but the bad parts as well, to just relate with others and just to show people like I don't know, I guess to like humanize me.
Speaker 1:Okay, let me stop you there for a second, because there was something you know. You said you want to be authentic and you want to be very transparent and show the good and the bad, and I think that's a very, I think that's a very noble way to approach what it is that you're doing. So before, before I get more into it, tell everybody where they can find you. First, okay, real quick, just share that and then we'll get. We're going to get right back into this.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I'm on Instagram, tiktok. I am, I feel, so old to be on TikTok. I did join on there. I love it. I love like the community I built on there. But yeah, you can just search my name, ashley Tala, on either platform and you can find me and follow our little family around and just see us.
Speaker 1:Okay. So, getting back to to to what you were, you were sharing, I do. I think that's an honest way to to an honest approach to what it is that you're doing, and I have a lot of respect for that Because, yes, in in society and I don't want to sound like this you know, old guy, that you know, get off my lawn guy but but because this has really kind of been going on for many, many years where people felt like they had to keep up with the Joneses and there's something to be said for when people post their their vacation pictures or family outing pictures, whatever it is, on whatever social media platform they choose and you know, you know, a lot of times as Facebook or Instagram, whatever it is, you don't, that's just a snapshot and nobody knows what was going on 30 seconds before the picture was taken. Nobody knows what's going on 30 seconds after the picture is taken, and people just see that one snapshot and they think, oh, I want that, I need that, so on and so on.
Speaker 1:And then a lot of envy and or jealousy comes in and that look, you know, or people see a picture of a couple and they're on vacation somewhere and they look like they're just having the greatest time, but they might have just had the biggest knockdown drag out fight five minutes before they decided to pose for that picture and they said we got to put this on Facebook. We got put on our Facebook, we got got to show everybody where we are, you know. And so I like the fact that you, that you're, you know, you're very transparent with, with what's going on in your life, the ups and downs.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, thank you Thank you.
Speaker 2:No, yeah, it's crazy. I feel like when I first started I definitely went into it a little naive and I was one of those people that was like, okay, everything has to look perfect, I have to have a big up on every time I film. And I was in that mentality until I kind of noticed there was the few times I did go, you know, without makeup or I showed, you know, things that weren't always so perfect. So many people were able to relate to that more and that's, I think, when it clicked to me like, look like people. Obviously it's really cool to, you know, follow people and you could see their amazing trips and everything that they've been on. It's definitely a breath of fresh air, like we it's. You know, it's kind of like watching the news, right, you don't always want to see super realness 24 724, 7. But with me I had to try to find like a good happy medium. Like, obviously we, we do naturally want to show the best parts of our life, right, it's just natural and something that you know in your mind you're never like, oh, let me show, like we just had an argument, let me just put that online, you know. So we're very on, definitely what we choose to show. But within that, I definitely try to be as authentic as possible and definitely show the parts that aren't, you know, the most beautiful, the most, I don't know.
Speaker 2:I guess accepting in society and I feel like I didn't really deep dive into that until this past year I've had you know, becoming a mom comes with a lot of insecurities and, you know, your body changes so much and that's something that I really had to, I guess, like accept and understand. And, you know, going through like a small touch of postpartum depression. I feel like it was very hard to navigate on social media because, again, you constantly are in front of you know, seeing these people that look so perfect all the time, whereas, like I'm here, you know a new mom my body looks completely different. Where it's like I'm battling with those insecurities, like does anyone want to see this? Like why am I going to? Like in my mind, you know, why am I going to post this? Like I feel the ugliest right now, like who wants to see this?
Speaker 2:And it wasn't until, you know, I gave birth to our second baby that I truly fell in love with my postpartum journey, how my new body is, and just loving that, you know, this body house my two favorite people in the world, aside from my husband. It's like I should give myself a little bit more grace and give myself a little bit more love and power. And, you know, being a mom and being a parent is such a beautiful thing and that's something that we shouldn't hide from. I feel like being a mom brought out a new part of me where it's like I truly do not give a f, honestly, of what I share now on social media, because if I look, you know, not in the best shape, if I'm not wearing makeup, it's totally fine, no one's gonna, you know, at the end of the day, no one's going to be like, wow, like, actually I didn't want the best in today's video, you know, like and not want to like, feel related to, I don't know, yeah, no, I know what you're saying and it's funny.
Speaker 1:Look, I saw this one, this one video. Catherine showed me this one video of you and I. You were in the kitchen and you had the baby on your chest, or no, you're holding, you're holding the baby and you're and you're cooking and you're you're running around the kitchen, all over the place and you're holding the baby and and you were showing, basically, that you can get all this done. You just have to have the right mindset for it and don't let the fact that you are a mother and you have kids, at whatever ages they are, stop you from being everything else that you are in regards to a woman.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:And so because I think I think I mean not just for women, but parents period, especially newer parents like you and Nikki they use their children as an excuse why they can't do this, do that, go here, go there, see this person, see that person, or whatever the case might be and you were kind of just showing look, and it was only. I mean, it was only in the kitchen, it was at home, but you were showing look, my kids are not an excuse, they're not my excuse to not be able to do things. You were out doing all kinds of housework and everything else and you were just holding the baby. It was kind of a breath of fresh air.
Speaker 2:And I feel like becoming a mom. I've realized you have I read a quote somewhere, I don't remember if I'm saying it correctly, but you have someone's childhood or someone's childhood in your hands and that really stuck with me. So it's like not that I don't have time to just sit there and feel bad about myself or not like my postpartum party and stuff but I needed to truly love myself so I could give my children the best childhood that they possibly can have. It's like these are their prime years growing up. Our daughter's three. She's starting to really discover the world, understand, remember things that happened months ago and, like I was saying with my first, when I was having my first baby after I had her, I did go through like a phase of postpartum depression and I just I never wanted to really do anything.
Speaker 2:I was really depressed about how like my new body looked, I was. I feel like it was such a huge change for anything, and not that I didn't expect it. I knew motherhood was gonna be hard and you know, my husband and I we were trying for years to get pregnant and we could get into that later, but-.
Speaker 1:We are it was really.
Speaker 2:It was hard for us to get pregnant. That whole journey in itself was crazy and I feel like, in the mindset that we were like, okay, we're ready for kids, we're trying, so going into it, I was like you know what I'm gonna rock motherhood, like we're ready to have kids. I mean, it wasn't like a surprise to us and it was. Once the baby got here, it was just. It was so crazy and it was our life flipped upside down, but in the best way possible.
Speaker 2:And you know, going through that as first time parents, it really affected me mentally and it was something that I had to learn and grow from and learn to accept myself and love myself and stuff. So I feel like now, where I'm at, you know, with as a second time mom, I feel like I don't know. I feel like I love myself so much more. I've learned to navigate this new world that we're in and I just wanna show that because I know that I'm going through it. There has to be so many other moms going through it too. And I feel like postpartum journey type thing is not talked about enough online and I feel like that part of motherhood is never shown online because it is hard, it is messy, it is very vulnerable. So with my second baby I made it literally a goal.
Speaker 2:I was like I'm going to try to show every part of my postpartum journey and share it with people you know follow moms. Like my community is mainly women, mainly mothers, and I want them to just be able to relate with me. And when I started being very vulnerable and open during this journey, I feel like that's when I've received the most positive feedback, you know, allowing other moms to see like, wow, I'm going through this exact same thing, like I don't feel alone. And I feel like that's what I needed with my first baby, because I was not following anyone that ever shared this part of their life on social media. So I was always thinking in my head like, wow, am I doing something wrong? Like why am I feeling like this? Why does my days look like this and no one else's days?
Speaker 2:But it was just simply because no one was really sharing that and it wasn't the cool thing to do on social media. You know, like every picture had to look perfect, everyone's speed had to look like aesthetically pleasing. So, yeah, that's kind of like where I've got to, why my content is the way it is. I'm very like you said. I show me cooking in the kitchen with the babies, kalea crying me trying to like get the house situated, me trying to be a mom, like my whole breastfeeding journey, problems that arose with that, and yeah, it's crazy, but I love it. I love what I do. I love just being able to be vulnerable and share all these moments with so many other moms and just allowing them to have someone that's kind of like their little best friend online and we could just share motherhood together and just yeah.
Speaker 1:Okay, so before we, so before we back up because we're gonna back up, yeah, Cause you do have you do have a little a community of, like you said, it's mostly moms and I'm sure, seeing your, seeing your content, especially if they're not putting stuff out themselves, if they're not on, you know, posting their own videos, that type of thing as you do, they probably use your content for inspiration, encouragement, those types of things, and they can probably lean on you a little bit for little positivity in the motherly journey. And so if they're doing that, I mean, are they just reaching out to you, sending you either instant messages or making comments and that kind of thing? How's that work?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I feel like I guess to like break it down. Social media yeah, I do a lot of drills. That's like something that I try to stick to, just cause I want to show what's really happening in my life and, you know, people reach out to me through DMs, direct messages, people comment and I feel like I haven't appreciated those messages and conversations until now. Like being a mom, I definitely have a lot of moms who pour their heart out to me through a message and it's something that I hold so closely to my heart and something that I genuinely love. I feel that I'm allowing them to feel comfortable enough to, you know, share their experience with me, and it is truly an honor to be able to connect with other women and other mothers on this platform. I feel like, you know, with social media, there's so many like bad things that come with social media, but I feel like this specific like thing that I'm doing right now is such a beautiful thing and one of the good like upsides of social media. And, you know, I feel like there's so many moms that don't have friends, that are pregnant, they don't understand, they don't have family members that understand, so, just to be able to be an outlet for them to ask questions, to relate to, to just share their journey, and for me to always. One thing I always tell them is you know I'm always here if you ever have questions, if you need help, if you, you know, just want another mom to talk to you because it's motherhood is.
Speaker 2:I feel like we're all in like a special secret club when you become a mom and you can't relate to that until you are a parent. You know, and it's I feel like there's so many like I don't know how to explain this Like I feel like before I became a mom not that I had I had different views of like what a mom was, and I never gave grace to my other mom friends, like, cause I wasn't in that space. I truly didn't understand. And so now that I am a mom and I'm able to like relate with other moms and just be a friend, that's like my favorite thing about what I do, I guess, is just being able to be there for them, being able to be another follow mom that they could always count on, talk to and, you know, share my story with them as they're sharing theirs with me. And yeah, I don't know, I love it so much. I love just connecting with moms on here and I love it.
Speaker 1:That's great, you know, and so so do you think, or I shouldn't say think, but do you ever receive any, any negative comments, any negativity? And if you do, how? How is it that you deal with that? Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:Obviously, we're in an age of there's so many people online and everyone has opinion and you know and there's always at least one troll out there.
Speaker 2:That's exactly, and we're in the age of like yeah, I guess internet trolls and I will say, for the most part, the feedback I always get is positive. But whenever a video does go viral, it gets in front of eyes that don't follow you, that don't know your story, and they're always gonna have something bad to say. Like, at the end of the day, you're not gonna be able to please everyone and this was something that was actually very hard for me to kind of get used to. I mean, I feel like you.
Speaker 2:definitely, if you're gonna post on social media, you have to have tough skin because you're showing guys watching this, people that are gonna judge you and you know think you're parenting the wrong way or you can't do that, and in the beginning it was very hard and my husband is actually the one that's kind of like allowed me to see like actually you can't listen to.
Speaker 2:You know those people like 99% of the time the same people that are saying the mean comments they will never say that to your face. You know they're hiding behind a keyboard and they're usually people that don't even have kids, that just want to say their opinion, which is fine. That comes, you know, with what I do and stuff, but I don't think that's gonna happen. I do and stuff. But yeah, I would say, whenever a video does go viral, it gets in front of so many people's eyes that don't follow you, that don't know what you're doing, and that's when I do get, I guess, the most hate comments, but it is very rare, but yeah, that's when I get it and it's definitely hard, especially when they're talking about my children, like I've had people say like you know, oh these are so ugly.
Speaker 2:Or you know my husband's half Filipino. So when everything was going on in 2020, I literally had people threatening me and DMing me, saying that, like, my children shouldn't be alive, saying stuff like, oh, this is so disgusting, Like, are your kids Chinese? And in my head I'm just like what? Wow?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, that was definitely a wild time, Just. But yeah, I would get random DMs when things did go viral, just people saying the meanest things like I don't know, but at the end of the day I have to and I would really, in the beginning it affected me so much I would literally cry in bed to Nikki like I don't want to post anymore, and he would just be like Ash, you can't let these probably like 13 year olds, right, control your life and let them have that power over you to where you're not post anymore.
Speaker 2:You're helping so many moms out there like, don't let these little kids pretty like. I honestly, truly believe they're all like kids behind the internet, just like.
Speaker 1:You never know, they're just keyboard warriors.
Speaker 2:Yes and so, yeah, it was definitely a hard thing to get over, but now whenever I do get like a hate comment or something like that, I just I literally like they have to be having a bad day. This is just a reflection of them, not me, and I can't take it. But yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, remember, I'm the old guy here, okay, so tell me. What is it? What does it mean when a video goes viral? Obviously, with my program I'm not there yet You'll get that. I don't even know.
Speaker 2:So when a video goes viral, it just means it gets in front of a lot of eyes. So I've had a few videos that have gotten like up to like 11 million views and all right. So it's just pretty much when a video gets a lot of traction and a lot of attention and yeah, so, yeah, that's what it means to.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:It's just the plus that your content gets out there, but it's also like, ooh, what's gonna? What type of comment are you gonna see today? Cause, yeah, it's always that's when you get hate.
Speaker 1:I'm a professional broadcaster here and I just knocked my microphone over, so all right.
Speaker 1:So, okay, go ahead. Well, you know, I mean I've only been doing this, this podcast here, for I don't know, it's coming up on three months and I'm having a blast with it. It's something I wanted to do for a long time, yeah, and I wanted to. I wanted to have this type of platform where one I could talk about things that I wanna talk about, which is most of the time, and it's mostly music related. But, as I promised my audience, this is a guest driven program here, so I wanna have guests in. If the guest and I are talking about music, that's great. If we're not, that's great too. Whatever subject it is that we're gonna be talking about, that's what I want, and so you know, being that I've done it for, like I said, coming up on three months, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:Well you, by the way, this is episode number 25. Woo-hoo, yeah, yeah, but I, fortunately, fortunately and you heard my open I ask for comments. I ask for comments on YouTube, and they can leave comments on the audio version of this show as well. I don't get a ton of comments, but I'm still waiting. This isn't a clue or this isn't an order for anybody, but I'm still waiting for the negative comment to come in, and fortunately, I haven't had any yet.
Speaker 1:I'm pretty sure I can handle it. You know, as long as I'm, you know as long as someone's not saying they wanna, you know, take me out, or something like that, but I'm still waiting for that one. But you know, being where I am, I have pretty thick skin, so I know I can handle it, and I'm just fortunate right now. But how do you handle that, though? If you get a negative comment, depending on what it is, like you said and I think anybody and everybody in their right mind would believe that kids are out of bounds okay, kids are just totally out of bounds, and so they have nothing to do with it. So anybody with half a brain should certainly leave kids out of it. But how do you deal with it? How do you deal with the negativity if there's any Mom?
Speaker 2:I guess back in the day, so when I was pregnant with Kalea. When I had Kalea I wasn't as strong as I was now, so it was really hard.
Speaker 1:I guess You're so calm now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I definitely am very you know confident in who I am now.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know, being a mom of two, I love this journey that I'm on and I feel like no one could take that away from me and I feel like me showing the. I guess the vulnerable part is me putting my power on that. So let's say, like with my first baby, like comments I would get, it'd be like, oh, like I would literally be a couple months postpartum like, oh, you look fat or you look so ugly, or things that are like that, and I feel like at the end of the day, I feel like I don't get them a lot. But again, when things do get more traction, people try to find things that they think will hurt a woman or hurt their. You know they wanna try to poke at insecurities and they would win.
Speaker 2:Sometimes I would get so depressed and be like, oh my God, like to my husband, like I feel so ugly. I feel like that's how, like I could have a hundred comments that are super nice and the one comment that's bad could literally make my day so bad. And yeah, it would really mess with my mind. And I just had to learn that. You know these people. They are most likely people that don't know who I am, don't know my journey and they're just. I feel like you know. They're just there, going on to round in people's pages and just leaving hate.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, so do you? I mean, have you ever replied to them? Or do you reply to it or you just ignore it? You just read it and just move on.
Speaker 2:So now I just, I, just, I, just, I, just, I, just I just Read it and I move on. And I try not to read comments so much when my videos go viral, because I think that I don't get. I really truly do not get hate. It's again only when our videos go viral.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I just, I don't give them any attention, because that's what they want. They want the attention they want to, you know, poke you and get something out of you and be like, yes, like I, I've, I pictured them just like sitting in the room behind like a little computer, just like who can I get pissed off today? And like I Don't want to give them that attention. Or is like back in the day I would, and I would just be like kind of arguing with someone I don't even know, like in the DMs, like I don't respond to all of them when they do, and but whenever it's like about my babies, I Will usually, you know, put them on blast or yeah, it's just, it's crazy to think that there's people that are like that hateful or unhappy with their lives to just go on to other people's pages and like leave crazy nasty things. But yeah, I feel like Now that I, again, I'm more open, so they can't like how do I explain this? So, like it back in the day, like I was saying, if people were to leave any comments, they would try to hit at things that they think would take me down, and I feel like the beauty in what I do now is I'm Vulnerable.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I am posting videos where I'm not wearing any makeup, where I don't look the fittest, where I'm breastfeeding, where I'm doing Something that I'm not looking my best, and I feel like there's power in that, because no one could take that away from me. No one could be like, oh, you look ugly. I'm like, yeah, I don't look the best right now, and that's the beauty of this, you know, like, and so I feel like me being more vulnerable and me being more open and showing the parts that aren't the prettiest. That is normally what people show on Instagram. I'm taking that power back and I'm like no, like, what are you gonna say about this? You know, like, this is I'm being vulnerable, I'm being open and, yeah, I'm showing the ugly parts of my life, but that's what makes it so beautiful, you know.
Speaker 1:I think that's. Yeah, I think that's cool. I Guess maybe I didn't really think about that too much, but you're. But you're absolutely right, you are sort of Taking. Basically, you're taking all the power away from anybody who's going to who may have something negative to say. You know, if you're not looking your best, you know you haven't showered your hairs up here, that kind of thing. You have no makeup on, whatever it is You've got, you've got food all over your clothing, whatever it might be. Because if you're willing to, if you're willing to To put that out in the world, like that, what's somebody, what is someone gonna say? That's gonna that, you know, that's gonna tell you something you don't already know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, exactly, and I think that's when I became so confident because I the content I put out now I would have never let Like again I have my hair in a crazy but no makeup stains all over my shirt, literally my stomach hanging out, like I Just do not. I've come into a place where I'm just so confident. It's like this is how women truly are Living their life a majority of the time, and I Want to show that. I want to show that, look, you could share these parts of your life. Things don't have to look picture perfect 24-7, and I feel like back in the day, whenever I would get any type of hate, it would be, you know, when I am put together, like, oh, you probably don't look like that all the time. It's like, well, yeah, I don't you know you can't win.
Speaker 1:You can't win either way, you know.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. It's like just being able to like show those parts of my life. Now People there's not that much to comment on because they could see like I'm not. Whatever you say to me is not really gonna get me down because I'm already putting all of this online for people to see. So it's, I'm secure with that. You know, like here, with how I look, even when I don't look my best. I'm secure with my postpartum body, even though it's not the typical body you see on Instagram, and you can't take that away from me. You can't comment on that because I'm already. I'm sharing it. So you know, like what are you gonna say? So I don't know, but that's that's how I feel.
Speaker 2:That's kind of like how I've been able to like accept and get in the right mindset that there's always gonna be people that you know don't like what you're doing, that that's gonna have a different opinion than you, and it's truly okay and yeah, but it's always nervous. It's always a little nerve-wracking when something does go viral, because it's like you never know what crazy comment you're gonna get. But yeah, I just I try to be as open as possible and I just I think I just pray for them. I'm like you know what, but you need to let this frustration out somewhere. So, yeah, I try not to pay any attention to it now. Um, yeah, I, it wasn't always like that, though.
Speaker 1:I call doing that stuff. You know, when you're not at your best, uh-huh, I call it warts and all. Okay, this is, this is what you see. See it for what it is. Yeah, and and I know that when I, when I first started doing this, and my very first video, my very first episode that I posted, really wasn't even supposed to go out. It was something that I just did, I, I came up here into the studio and you know, the studio looks a lot different than it did when I first started.
Speaker 1:It's certainly looking much better. It's not where I want it to be, but it's looking better. And I Sat, I sat at my desk on the other side of the of the studio and I just I just hit, hit the hit record, and I'm talking into the microphone and I'm trying to play some music and and I had no clue what was going on, I but I'm just talking off the top of my head because I'm just testing all the equipment out Well, nonetheless, I Play it back. It's, god awful, all right, but I thought you know what I'm posting this anyway. Yeah, I want, I want my audience to see you know that this knucklehead that knows nothing, and you know where he starts and then where he takes the, the show to, and and you know, I, like I said it was it's god awful, but but it was kind of it was.
Speaker 1:I was kind of nervous about it because I thought, well, I'm gonna put this out there. There's a lot of there's just it's terrible and I was afraid of getting negativity on it. You know what are people gonna say Stop now, stop now. It's just, you know, quit while you're still behind, and and you know, but I guess for some, maybe people get a good laugh out of it. If you know, I it doesn't have a ton of views, but it has some views on it and I don't care. But I haven't gotten any negativity. So thank god for that right now.
Speaker 2:Always have to start somewhere and you just have to go for it, and I'm so proud of you for starting. I totally get what you're saying, because there's content on YouTube that we filmed, you know, in our beginning days, like six, seven years ago, and it is so bad I literally don't even want to look at it. There was times I was like, okay, I wanted to delete, this is so bad, but it's funny. My husband's always like no, like that's the beauty of it, like it's it's right somewhere You're never gonna be, where you know.
Speaker 2:I feel like that's all also really cool too, because it's like you don't ever want to start at your absolute best, because it's like you always you want to continue to grow constantly. So it's like it's so cool just to and then this goes across anything that you ever want to start or do in your life Like, just start, like it's not gonna be perfect, it's not gonna be pretty, but that's the beauty of it. You can always look back and see the stuff that you're doing now and be like wow, like I've genuinely Progress and I've changed so much in like in the best way possible. So I feel like it's such a good reminder of like where you started, where you come from, I everyone's just to start. You're not gonna be a pro or you know the best at what you do in the beginning and but I love that. That's the whole part of the process and the journey and yeah, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1:Thanks, thank you very much. That's, that's nice to you to say. But but yeah to what you were saying, if you start, if you started the at your best, where y'all see you gonna go, yeah, and there's no room to grow really, and then eventually you, just you, you, you start coming down off of that. But Like you, you know, like you said, you just got to start it and and a guy told me that too, I Was sitting on all my equipment for, oh gosh, I don't know, I think I'd been sitting on it for like six months. Well, and and you know, I wasn't sure what, how I wanted to approach. I knew what I wanted to do, but there was some I was getting in my own head a little bit too. And I went to see these, this consultant, and, and we talked for a little bit.
Speaker 1:There's a video out here somewhere on YouTube, a short little video that I did. And and when we were done with that, one of the engineer says you don't really want to do this, do you nice of? Well, yeah, of course I do. He says no, you don't. I said what are you talking about? He says you have everything you need to get this thing started, you just need to do it. Yeah, and that was the kick in the pants. I was like this guy's right. So so by by the following by the following Tuesday, the first video was out.
Speaker 2:That person to like put you in check and put you in line and be like what, yeah, just do it go for it. Station assistant.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I make no bones about it, this is not the most professionally shot Podcast. I don't play any music on it because the times I've tried to test things out it just doesn't work. I'll get there one of these days, maybe I don't edit anything, I hit record, I hit stop and that's it, because I I want everybody to see it for what it really is. You know, if we mess up, we mess up, okay, like you see, knocked over my microphone. Oh well, you know what am I gonna do?
Speaker 2:But that's the beauty in it too, and you need to give yourself more credit. Honestly, what you're doing it's good and you know you're gonna get better every time and yeah, like you were saying, not if it's the start, their best, but what you're doing is really good, it's not. I believe in it. I believe in it and just keep going. That's honestly all you could do and you are going to.
Speaker 1:You're pumping me up now, ashley.
Speaker 2:And I think that's the beauty behind it too. It's so cool just to be raw, authentic, show them what it's truly like, like you don't need to edit anything else, and I think that's the beauty of podcasting, and I think it's super cool Like you're not gonna find this type of content anywhere else on a platform. You know, with social media, you have to edit things and pick the best parts and stuff like that. So I love what you're doing and I love that you could just have an honest conversation. It's gonna go probably 50 different ways in one episode, but that is awesome and that's real life.
Speaker 1:So well, thanks, I appreciate that's very nice, but let's, let's get back to you now. Okay, enough of me, let's get back to you. Let's let's back up a few years. Okay, let's go back to the beginning. All right, I want to start with the beginning, with you and Nikki. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Also sorry.
Speaker 1:Don't worry about it, oh.
Speaker 2:Like I'm on the go 21st seven with a baby in my hand constantly, so I feel like I Don't have any kids. I'm like I feel like I should be like bouncing a baby to sleep or like running over here.
Speaker 1:So I you know this is great. See, I'm okay Because not everyone is gonna be watching this. Some will be listening to it, so I'll let you know that the the folks that are, you know, listening in your cars or whatever, so, as normal, I'm sitting in front of, I'm sitting in front of the backdrop in my studio, actually sitting in front of a door. Yeah, I could tell you're sitting on the floor in front of a bedroom door. So I love it, it's great.
Speaker 2:I'm listening. I have my husband's watching the kids and I was like, okay, anything goes crazy, I have you're out All right.
Speaker 1:So let's go to the. Let's go back to the beginning. Let's just start with this. Start how, how this all began.
Speaker 2:This whole journey began with with you and Nikki okay, I love honestly, I love our journey and I love our love and I feel like yeah yeah, so my husband and I we have been married. We got married in 2019, so she did?
Speaker 2:Yeah, she did, I was there five years and we've been together for this year will be 12 years. We started dating a year after we graduated high school, and it's so crazy too, because we both went to a private high school and Private high schools are very small. But we didn't know each other in high school, which is so wild. But we had the same group of friends, which is how we connected after call or after high school. But, long story, quick, one of my best friends introduced us and, yeah, we started. I had just came out of a Dumb high school relationship and I was not looking for anything serious, and so when, nikki, I'll give you a little back story.
Speaker 1:So I was wait first. Aren't all high school relationships dumb? Yes, yeah, they are.
Speaker 2:I wasn't like Nikki was a, a footballer and he was prom king, the typical all-american like Popular guy, and I was simply opposite. I went through like a crazy it's called like scene phase, where I was like I don't even want to get into that, but I just I was not popping in high school. I didn't like I had friends, but it was a completely opposite life then sure he was a so and you were not a so.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah okay, all right, I mean your camp, by the way. Okay, I wasn't a so shy there.
Speaker 2:And so it wasn't so after high school, where I started, I guess, blossoming, as they would say and yeah, we started, we started hanging out and we I didn't want anything serious, and he ended up falling in love with me. And it's so funny because when he told me he loved me, I was like thank you.
Speaker 1:Perfect response, thank you.
Speaker 2:Oh no, but it was. It was crazy. We definitely started dating when we were very young. We're both 19 and at the time I had got diagnosed with lupus, so I didn't want a relationship because I was not mentally Right. I feel like I was dealing with a lot of health issues and I'm someone that I Care about, like I'm so, that never wants to put my problems onto anyone else, like which could be a good thing and a bad thing.
Speaker 2:so I was like I'm not gonna bring this boy into a relationship with me and me have all this. I felt like I had baggage right. I was always, you know, in and out of the hospital, having surgeries, just not feeling the best, and he, I opened up to him and he has stuck by my side ever since and he's amazing. He's got me through some of the darkest times of my life and I truly appreciate and value him as a person, as a friend and now, you know, the father of my children. But yeah, we definitely, you know, went through a rough patch when we were younger. Again, we got, we pretty, were 31 now, so we went through our whole 20s growing old now.
Speaker 2:I 30s, 30s are super young and I'm so excited for this decade. No, but no, we grew up with each other, you know, and I feel like very hard. A lot of couples don't last when they get together that young, because you naturally go grow up and you naturally, you know, go through so many different phases of life and you're changing and You're not the same person as you were, right, when you're 19 at least I would hope so.
Speaker 1:You know, you're right, you're 19 years old. Yeah, you're, you know, you're just. I Don't want to make it sound condescending, but you're just a stupid kid at that time and and and we were all 19 the once. And you are. You're just a stupid kid, no matter how much you think. You know, you know, and and those you know. Like you said, you know really. You're growing, you're finding out who you are. You're finding out what you like, what you don't like, who you like, who you don't like, all those kind of things in your early 20s, early to mid 20s.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, so a lot of times for couples who get together that young, even if they stick it out for 8, 10 years, it can still end kind of badly because in the one day they're looking at, they're they're, you know, looking over in bed at their partner and they're saying what am I doing with this person? I don't even know who they are.
Speaker 2:No, it's exactly, exactly and it's. It's kind of shocking that we lasted so long and that Worse the marriage we have is so strong.
Speaker 2:And yeah, I truly do believe you have such a rare relationship, but again that it came with a lot of work and the reason why, I'm so shocked is because if you knew us at 19, you would have never thought we would ever make it to where we're at today, yeah, and like to kind of like dive in there. You know, we started off a relationship Super good, super strong and you know, as you get older you're kind of changing and I feel like we were so young you know high school mentality and stuff like that that we did go through a phase where we fought constantly. We didn't have a healthy relationship and it was definitely a relationship that we should have ended because it was so unhealthy. And it was just so unhealthy in the fact of just like jealousy, like little stupid things. There was never big problems, ever Just people that don't know us. There was never like Abuse type stuff or anything like that. It was just we were two young kids.
Speaker 1:That it's dumb kids stuff is what it is.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and you know we constantly fought and you know alcohol was. You know we were 21 and we were drinking a lot and we would fight every time we drank over again, dumb children, stuff, yeah and yeah, we. Honestly I, if you would have asked me back then like, oh, you guys gonna be married, happily married two kids, I mean you are crazy, we are not gonna like last and. But yeah, just mix that in with someone that has lupus. It was nuts, honestly. It was such a roller coaster. And yeah, I was diagnosed with lupus. I want to say I was 17. I was a senior in high school and With that came so much like Depression. Depression is literally a side effect of lupus.
Speaker 1:Sure.
Speaker 2:And, yeah, I had so much pain, I had a bunch of surgeries and it was just crazy in a time that I shouldn't have been in a relationship, but at the same time, I'm thankful because it did help me get through some crazy times.
Speaker 2:Um, yeah, with that, that's how we met. We were together, went through a crazy, really unhealthy period for I want to say like maybe one to two years, and then we finally were like sat. We're at this time, we're probably like 22 23 and we're like look, if we want to continue this relationship, we have to make a change, and People probably will not believe me if they knew us, because they knew how bad we used to fight. We literally were just like we need to put each other first, we need to put our relationship first and we need to get serious with this. If not, we need to go our separate ways because this is not a healthy relationship to be in. And it was like a light Switch just flipped and from that day, we just made a promise to ourself and I know this sounds crazy, but we have not like fought since. And it's so strange because Fighting is normal right in a relationship. You're always yeah something.
Speaker 2:Um, you know you're always gonna have different opinions, but it's so weird. I don't know what happened, but we're literally the same person. It's kind of weird. We have like the same views. We have just the things that we enjoy in life. We're the same person to the tea and we just we stopped arguing and we've been able to really focus on our marriage and just put each other first and it's Blossomed into such a beautiful marriage that I'm genuinely so proud of, because, yeah, we've definitely gone through a lot of obstacles and with that, like again me having lupus, yeah, we were ready to, you know, start trying to have a family. That came with so many miscarriages. We've had almost I want to, I think four miscarriages.
Speaker 1:I want to copy there for a second yes, you with lupus. You were not supposed to be able to get pregnant. No, yes.
Speaker 1:No, I was yes, and you have you yet you have two daughters now and that Two miracles right there, and that's a beautiful thing, it's really, it truly is. And and you know, congratulations to you and Nikki for Persevering, never giving up on the on, on the desire to have kids. Yes, you know, not letting your condition and if you could Kind of explain to the audience a little bit about what lupus is but but not letting that condition Stop you from wanting to have kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so lupus, it pretty much like attacks different organs in your body, okay, and the specific type that I had, like some side effects and symptoms, were like there would be days I would not be able to walk, like I remember one time my husband is a biology major and we were in college and he had a conference where he had to Share his data in New Orleans.
Speaker 2:So I went with him, we made it like a little vacation and I remember we were walking to go to one of his conferences and I literally just collapsed in the middle of the road. I couldn't walk my I was having extreme pain and my Legs, from my knees down to my feet, my arms kind of like, where all my joints were kind of like I would say the filling of arthritis, but times like a thousand and, yeah, sometimes I just would faint out of nowhere. I would get bruises. It was crazy actually, because a lot of my symptoms when I would, they were trying to diagnose me. They thought that I had leukemia when I was younger, because I was having a lot of hair loss, I was having bruises like down my back, my bones were extremely Crazy pain. I wouldn't be able to walk, I would faint and yeah. So it was a really long process to get diagnosed with lupus and you know, once I was on the right medications and stuff.
Speaker 2:Things started getting a little bit better. But, um, no, yeah, there would be times that were so scary and so I remember that time specifically because he had to be somewhere and it was a huge, you know, conference for your college and it was just a scary time and I had to be willed to his conference and yeah, so that's just like a little of what my lupus was. So it's for me. It's really a lot of pain in my bones, a lot of Like outside I guess, things that you could see like I would get a lot of rashes, I would get, you know, the typical within lupus.
Speaker 2:You get, like the butterfly I rash, which is a red rash that happens on your face when you do have certain flare-ups and yeah, so it's just something that I'll live with forever and luckily, crazy miracle I, my lupus is dormant at the moment. So dormant is pretty much. I'm not having any flare-ups, I'm not, I'm doing pretty good and spin like that. For I want to say like four ish years, four or five years, right, super thankful for, and yeah, but With lupus it's very Common to have a lot of miscarriages and that's something that I wasn't, you know, when I was diagnosed at 17. I did not have you know becoming a mom on my radar anytime soon.
Speaker 2:So something you did, yeah, something you didn't think about, so you Concerned yeah, and until you know, my husband and I started trying to start a family. That's when I truly learned about it and truly was like, okay, wow, there's a huge possibility that I might not be able to have children. And you know, going from the time when him and I were Dumb young kids to then, we've grown so much, you know, we've established such a healthy relationship and with that it was a lot of communication, a lot of you know growing, just getting out of our immature states of mind and, yeah, we so we didn't rush into just for people that don't know us, we didn't rush into trying to have kids. There is this whole story, was you know, over the span of 12 years. So you know, we've had such a beautiful, you know, relationship before even chose to get married and all of that stuff. And I love my husband so much. The best man, he is great, but he's such a romantic, he's such like he's definitely one of one, like the type of husband he is, he's so thoughtful and type of parent he is. I was like, okay, I want him to be the father of my children, like, he is a great, he's the best girl dad.
Speaker 2:But no, so we were told many times that you know, don't even think about having children. This isn't going to happen for you, this isn't in the cards. People, it's very rare for people to even get pregnant and if they do, it's so dangerous and they would just tell me stories that would get kind of scare me. Um, there's so many people that I've heard read about and even know that Got pregnant on lupus and they ended up sadly passing away. Because when you become pregnant on lupus, your body Thinks the baby is a foreign like, shouldn't be in your body, so it starts to attack the baby, which is a very dangerous thing. But then it could also your, all your levels, everything's messed up and he could and so attacked yourself, which could end up. You know, you know bad things happen but compromise your health and then causing you, causing some people, to die of course, right yeah, so it was definitely a very scary thing like should we have children, should we adopt?
Speaker 2:and we I didn't find out about it and we I didn't find out about all of this until we had our first miscarriage. You know, we went into the doctor there, like you know, it's very common you have lupus and I was kind of I was like what? Like what does my lupus have to do with me having this miscarriage? And you know, I got educated on what, what was happening and yeah, my doctor's pretty much was like okay, prepare to never have children. You, you know, this isn't really in the cards for you and your husband and yeah, that tore me apart. It kind of it made us lean on each other even more. This is something that you know, we really wanted and we were like, you know, we're obviously huge believers in God and we prayed to him all the time and we knew that when it was our time, it would be our time. And it was so crazy because we I got into a place with my lupus where it did become dormant. So not that it was safer to have children, but I don't even know how to explain it, but it was. I was in an area where I wasn't that afraid to try to get pregnant because of where my health was and yeah. But yeah, we ended up having three more miscarriages after the first one and After we had our fourth miscarriage we went in to go do IVF and we actually met up with a doctor and everything and I was even possibly thinking of having a surrogate.
Speaker 2:So, carry our baby for us is at this point I'll say, okay, maybe I really can't get pregnant. And at the older. So to back up, another thing that they said is the older you get, the riskier it is for you, for your life. You know, we don't want you have even attempting to have kids in your 30s. It's very dangerous with someone that has lupus and yeah. So I thought that I would have to have a surrogate.
Speaker 2:Um, and it was crazy. We went in for our IVF appointment and they did like a procedure where they flushed out I Don't know exactly because I don't want to like I'll say kind of what it happened, but I don't know the exact term and I don't want to mess it up but they flushed something out of my uterus, like with some liquid, to truly see. Like they needed to scan my uterus and see if it's healthy enough to even have a To go through IVF. So we did that and I Personally think it flushed my system out and whatever was causing me to not have a baby. Allow me to get pregnant, because then I ended up getting pregnant, naturally, two months later.
Speaker 1:I was just gonna ask how long it was after that. So two months.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so we didn't have IVF and but when I did get pregnant, it was obviously a very high risk pregnancy, so I had to see a higher as doctor.
Speaker 2:They monitor it. They monitored her very closely and they I think I was like two months and they said the baby's not gonna make it, so you're gonna have a miscarriage. It's gonna be a miscarriage and the reason they said that was the levels that you have in your body when you do have a miscarriage. I forgot the exact terminology but they're extremely high. So when they my blood, when I went because I had to give blood every two weeks to monitor the pregnancy so it was a super intense Pregnancy I was literally at the doctors the almost every single week like monitoring. So just one of the blood tests, the my levels were extremely pot spiked of what shows up when you have a miscarriage. So they thought I was gonna be having a miscarriage or I'm in the process of having a miscarriage. So they put me on my husband he's a scientist so he knows all the terminology but they put me on a medication where you take it vaginally and your pills, and so I was on it, I want to say for a month, and that's to keep the baby from Having a miscarriage and to coming out of you. So that for about a month to try to keep the pregnant like try to keep the baby in me as long as possible and to keep the pregnancy like Going. It worked.
Speaker 2:But yeah, it was crazy. It was a very intense process. At like five, six months I had to be hospitalized because they thought I was gonna give birth so they had to inject me with different hormones for the baby's lungs to develop faster In case she did come. She had a higher chance of, you know, surviving and it was a wild, wild pregnancy but she had it coming like a month early because I wasn't able to go my full term. Dangerous for me to Deliver, at like the hot the bigger the baby is and stuff it was. It's just too dangerous. So, okay, had to be induced and that was a craziness. But yeah, here we are, two babies later.
Speaker 1:Oh babies. I know we weren't even supposed to have one, and now there's two. Yeah and they're perfectly healthy, healthy so healthy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we were recommended not to have a second baby, but I just Felt it in me that I could do this and if it was gonna happen, it had to happen. Now, yeah, why turned you know 30? And yeah, we have two babies. They're so healthy. I'm so thankful, and you know it's. I'm so thankful that I didn't listen, not that I didn't listen to the doctor, but that I believed that I you.
Speaker 1:You were in tune with your own body. Yeah, body was actually telling you it's gonna be okay, we're gonna do that. If we're gonna do it, we're gonna do it now, but it's gonna be okay. Yeah, that was your body telling you that and I think I think that's great when, when we can be in tune with our bodies, not to go against what a doctor might say or not believe what a doctor might say. But but the doctors going on is they're basing their, their Diagnosis and and and things that they tell you. They're basing it on science and not your actual body.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're the one that's wearing all this, so and it definitely was scary because, again, you know, my husband is a scientist and he's very science-based and like he was scared. And again, me too, I have my degrees in biology as well, and so it's like we knew the brisk. But I think us wanting to have a kid and obviously going into this, we it wasn't like we were just blind, like oh yeah, let's have a baby. Even the doctors saying not to like we're very like Okay, what's the healthiest option we could do. Like I'm at the healthiest point, like I definitely we didn't try to have a baby when I was like in the prime of my lupus, when I was having crazy flare ups. You know that definitely would not have been a smart decision. So I was, I waited for my lupus to be dormant for a while.
Speaker 2:I, you know, was trying to be the healthiest version as I can be and I was weighing out, you know, the options and it wasn't like a hundred percent, like oh, something's gonna happen to, but it was a huge, like, if you do have this, expect to have a miscarriage. But I was like you know, I've already had four miscarriages and each one Was very painful, very sad, but I feel like the hope of having a child kind of surpassed those feelings and we wanted to try one more time and we, you know, miracle happened we got pregnant. She's healthy and beautiful and yeah, I'm just. I'm thankful that we listened to you know ourselves and we went for it. But my husband does have a vasectomy, so no more had to get a vasectomy because it is dangerous. We don't want something to happen to me Because I did have two very, very hard pregnancies and you know, we don't.
Speaker 2:It is recommended by doctors like that. I did do this so I don't risk my life because I don't want to be 35 and accidentally get pregnant and you know us go through with the pregnancy and something happening to me like we're already blessed with two babies and we don't want to take any of that for granted. And so now, at this point in our life, we, you know, we're very blessed, we're thankful and we don't want to, you know, put my life at risk anymore. So, yeah, that was when we thought that was the decision that allowed us, you know, to go through with of the sector, me and my husband's. Like, you know, it's the least I could do, I don't want you doing anymore, yeah, and so, yeah, we went in for he went in for that and yeah, we're, we're done to and done, but very thankful because, again, for so many years I was told that we wouldn't even have one.
Speaker 1:So yeah, okay. So tell me, oh, tell me, what it is that you're doing now. I know that, that there's some stuff. You, I Guess you, you, you represent some, some products, for I don't know if it's for babies, for mothers, for women, for anybody, I'm not sure. But but, based on Based on the videos that you put out, you now represent some, some, some products, right? Yes, okay, tell me about that so how I got there?
Speaker 2:I'll just, I'm just gonna be like a little Before. So I'm a stay-at-home mom very. I don't take that for granted. I know that it is definitely a privilege and you know the society we're living in right now, but it was something we were able to make work and that's how I became a stay-at-home mom and that's how I was like kind of started taking social media a little serious. Not that I had more time, you know, I feel like I, before I got pregnant, I'd be at home moms in a completely different life. I was like you know, they have to easy. You know, they're just at home all day, probably baking, looking nice, and it's not like that.
Speaker 2:Being a Seattle mom is so hard and have so much respect for single moms. I have so much respect for, you know, moms that pretty much can't put themselves first. It's definitely a lot and I think that's why I wanted to really take social media serious, because I wanted to show that part, because I had a whole different view of what to say at home mom was, and I was shocked when I became one. I was like this is so hard and actually when my husband was on paternity leave, he was like, wow, like going to work is an actual break, like this is a whole different type of stress. This is a whole different type of like you're constantly on 24-7. Your mind never gets a break.
Speaker 2:You know, like from the second I wake up to the second I go to sleep, I am constantly working, doing things, you know, providing for the children, doing all of these things. And I don't take it for granted. I know that I'm very, you know, lucky to even be in a position to, you know, be the one to be at home with them and watch them grow up. And you know, I definitely I see that. But at the same time and I'm not going to, you know, lessen the work that I do because it is hard and it should be valued more, and I feel like it's not in this society that we're in, you know, I feel like so many people who see at home moms is like, oh, they have such an easy job or, you know, I could do that and it's a different type of work, but it's still work and it's still hard and it's still a job.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it's still a lot mentally so yeah yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:I want. I wanted to start sharing that and I started taking it a lot serious, more serious, creating content. So, again, like you said, I create a lot of stay at home content, just like my day in my life, what I do, and it sounds so, I guess, kind of like boring, but people are so interested to see what someone like me does day to day, like they want to know my routines, to help you know other stay at home moms I get through the day a little easier and stuff like that. But yeah, I started kind of slowly growing and I've been able to work with Sony, amazing brands like baby brands and stuff like that, and I'm so thankful for that and with social media, just for, like, I don't know if you know, but I'll kind of do a little breakthrough of what it is, but the world we live in is crazy, so social media is so and a lot of companies and brands are going to social media to promote their products instead of commercials. You know, back in the day, so many people watch TV and right.
Speaker 2:The main, as we would see, would be on commercials, right?
Speaker 2:So in this whole new age, people are paying people on Instagram to promote their product because they've Brant.
Speaker 2:I guess, like people on social media, have been able to humanize products and to really kind of show other moms like specifically for me, I do a lot of baby products Like other moms, like how to use your product in the daily life and how to incorporate that in their daily life and brands have seen that that actually is kind of not I wouldn't say better, but a really good route to go, because you're getting the product into so many people's eyes and you're showing like how to use it by a real mom and stuff like that. So I've been blessed to work with a lot of different companies and it's been amazing and, yeah, I just I create content for them and show products that I genuinely use for. Like social media, you know there's always brands wanting to send you things or do things and I actually do not work with every brand that reaches out to me and I don't believe in the product, or if I tried it, it wasn't really a fit with me.
Speaker 2:And something you know I told my husband that I take a lot of pride in is I don't want to be one of those moms on social media that gets paid for every product and that's the only reason why I'm showing it Like I don't want to waste other moms money. You know like I know society right now and money is tough for a lot of families, and I only want to promote things that genuinely work for my family, that work for me, and so, yeah, I don't take every brand that comes my way. I I want to try to share things that I really use, that really work, and I think that's why I've been able to build a community that truly trust my word, because I'm not like you know.
Speaker 1:I'm only promoting things that I genuinely Right, you're, yeah, you're not chilling for just anybody who sends you product.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And, like you said, you, you're only going to use the products that that you believe in. That you'll stand by, and there's something to to that. You have a reputation also, and if you recommend a product that you don't believe in, somebody pays for it, somebody buys it, and then they're completely dissatisfied as well, then you know why are they going to believe what you have to say the next time around.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, for sure, and I feel like with that too, is always comes like being a mom and products and stuff like that, Not what's going to work for my baby by not work for your baby. But I try to be as honest as possible and, you know, share things that can help motherhood a little bit more. And you know, being a stay at home mom, I'm trying to navigate that world and try to make my life a little bit easier. If there's products that come along that could, you know, save me 30 minutes here, 30 minutes there. Those are the things I like to promote because, yeah, I just I want to make if I could get something out of like what I'm doing. I just I want to help mothers make their life a little bit easier, whether that like whatever that entails. But right.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah it's. It's been a crazy journey and you know I'm not I'm not crazy huge, but I'm very proud of where I'm at and I'm very thankful for the community I have. They're literally my second family and they help me, you know, get through some tough days and they're always there for me and I just I think of it as like we're just like a little community of moms just helping each other out and I love that so much.
Speaker 1:That's great, that is great, it really is. Yeah, it's truly great. Ok, so listen, tell everybody again where they can find you All right.
Speaker 2:You're so sweet. I was so, so weird saying this, like oh, I follow me on here, but no, I mean, if you are a mom or if you're just someone that wants to, you know, see the life of a mom. I'd love for you. Ali, you know, join my little family. But on Instagram you could find me at my. My handle is Ashley. So A S H Ali Y T E? L. The last three letters of my last actually.
Speaker 2:Tell and then on TikTok it's just Ashley Tala. You type in yeah, that's where it is. We have YouTube as well. We took we're taking a little break on that just because there's so much going on, but we are going to be back to posting our monthly blogs, or weekly blogs, on YouTube very soon, so you can find us on YouTube at Nikki and Ashley blogs. Yeah, that's, that's where I'm at.
Speaker 1:All right. Well, that's great. Look, this has been a real treat because it's enlightened me a little bit too. You shed a lot of light, you've, you've, you know, you shared a lot with me that I was, I was even unaware of, yeah, and being very transparent as I like to be and as you like to be, ashley is Catherine's cousin, yeah, and so so we're. We're a little bit of family here.
Speaker 2:But yeah, built in uncle.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so Catherine is my mom's cousin, but I do have my aunt.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but and this is something we've been we've been trying to do this for a little bit, right. I know motherhood, though I swear oh my gosh, you'd be a blame it on your kids.
Speaker 2:Of course it's crazy I had so many because, like I always tell my friends, I'm horrible at texting back because, yes, I know. I know I'm which. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:I apologize for calling you out right here on my show.
Speaker 2:No, because I will be texting someone and then something will happen with the baby, so I'll put my phone down, go do it. My mind's like thinking of 20 different things and then I will forget to text someone back for days at a time, and my parents hate this because I do it to them too, and I don't mean to, and it's something I'm trying to work on. But yeah, I'm just happy we were able to jump on here and talk and just have a fun, healthy conversation.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah.
Speaker 2:No, I do. I feel like so crazy too, because I feel like to. I don't want to say it like in a rude way, but I feel like my parents' generation are you, you know your guys' generation.
Speaker 1:Yeah, come on.
Speaker 2:I don't understand the whole social media, which is OK, I mean you guys did not grow up with it.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, you're right.
Speaker 2:I feel like we sometimes get a bad rep and people think we're just sharing all this crazy stuff and that it's easy, and I don't know. I feel like people have so many different views on it, but at the end of the day, I feel like there's so many upsides and good things to social media and I feel.
Speaker 2:I'm hoping what I'm doing is one of them and I just want to help influence other moms and help make motherhood a little easier. Journey, and you know, creating content for brands is definitely it's. We're super. I'm thankful. I never take it for granted and I'm very blessed to be able to, you know, try so many different products and, you know, be able to make a living off of that and, you know, get paid for that. But it is. It is hard work and you know it's a lot of work, especially having two kids. And I feel like a lot of people think like, oh well, you just post, like it takes like two seconds to film that video. It's like yeah.
Speaker 2:I don't understand what goes into it, like I would just a little quick before you get off. It is a lot, and one minute video, you see, will have like six, seven hours of work being put into that. You know, like when I'm working with brands, they want X amount of a minute shot and then you bring it down to that one minute. You have to plan things, you have to like there's so much that goes behind. We could talk about that in a different podcast. There's so much that goes behind.
Speaker 1:Right, right.
Speaker 2:Like a lot of people. Just, you know some some you know. Going back to the hate comments, like some comments I've gotten in the past is like, oh, like, being a stay at home mom is so easy, creating content is so easy and I I just feel like it's something they don't understand and I get that. But it's definitely a lot of work. Like you know, when you're working different jobs, you know you have set hours where it's like when you're, when you're like pretty much a freelancer on social media, you're working 24, seven, like you're working more than you're eight hours constantly working. And throw that in with being a stay at home mom. Again, I know that it's. I'm very thankful to be where I'm at, but it definitely is a lot of work and I hope to, you know, open the eyes to others and I get so. I'm so like I give so much grace and understanding to the moms that have to work and do this, you know right, right, and I don't ever put anyone else's journey down.
Speaker 2:I think like, oh no, like what I'm doing is like the hardest, and like that. You know, I appreciate the beauty of motherhood and I can't even like, I can't even like comprehend moms who have to do it alone, and I'm so, I'm so thankful for my husband and I give so much love to you know, see more moms and working moms, like they are superheroes and they deserve all of their flowers and the beauty of this, cause what they're doing is real work and you know, I feel like no one's journey is harder than the other. I feel like everyone has their hard moments and always uplift each other and share and, you know, be there for each other at the end of the day. But, yeah, crazy, motherhood is crazy, parenthood is crazy, it's wild.
Speaker 1:But it's so hard. So podcasting, podcasting is crazy and it's hard work too. You know it really is we used to podcast in the beginning.
Speaker 2:I know you did.
Speaker 1:We'll talk about that later on. We'll talk about that when we get Nikki on the show too. We'll talk about that. But you know, I don't. I don't know if you're aware of this, but it was a couple of weeks ago. Catherine and I we were at your grandparents. We had dinner with with your mother and your father and your grandparents. So Catherine and and Yvette, they're sitting at the table and, of course, now they're they're, they want to start their own podcast.
Speaker 2:Yvette is my mom.
Speaker 1:Now, this is the name. Okay, this is the name. They come up with Two girls that know nothing but talk about everything. Yes, I love it. Yeah, I told them. Just look, just don't cut in on my stuff. All right, go get your own. All right, your own thing.
Speaker 2:I love that. That is, that's awesome. Honestly, they need to do it. They should go for it. Do it. They wouldn't probably like it's such a relatable thing. You know, it's like hanging out. I love listening to podcasts like that Like it's like you're hanging out with your best friends and, yeah, I love that. So well I have to tell her okay, get on it. Mama.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly, listen, listen. I can't, I can't thank you enough for this. This is great. This is great conversation. I think there's a lot of good information in here that somebody is going to take, take from this, and they're going to be like I'm glad, I'm glad I listened to this, I'm glad I watched it. Oh, you, you bring it in, we bring it in, we bring it in.
Speaker 2:All this daughter is cooking.
Speaker 1:All right, all right, okay, she getting, okay, she getting camera. Shy, yeah, oh, okay, but but this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is this is a real treat, and I can't thank you enough for spending the time.
Speaker 2:So I think people will be a part of this. He was on parent duty. He was watching the kids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's okay, all right. Well, let me wrap this up really quick. So, all right, everyone. Another reminder this program is available on multiple podcast platforms Apple podcasts, amazon music and Spotify, or simply just search the Ben Maynard program. You'll have several options to choose from. Pick your option, please go to bus sprout and, if you're watching on YouTube, subscribe to the channel. Give me a thumbs up or leave a comment. Yeah, there you go. And, last but not least, follow me on Instagram. Just Ben Maynard program. So with that, it's a wrap. You stick around after I stop this? Okay, and it is a wrap. Once again, this is the Ben Maynard program. Thanks for being here and tell a friend.